I am a fan of "Serenity" and "firefly"..... well written, pretty violent and definitely pg13. I would be lying if I said I didn't LOVE it.
I think that I will be Zoe for Halloween this year, and force Benjamin to dress up as Wash. Benjamin could also be Mal, but he looks the most like Wash. I can make my hair look like Zoe, and I will just keep a look out for leather clothes, holsters, fake guns, and knee length boots. I also get to lose 30 pounds, which I wanted to do anyways.
This is such great motivation to lose weight!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
My Favorite NPR Moment
Sometime around about Christmas 2002, I was doing some holiday baking and listening to A science program on National Public Radio. The host was Ira Glass, and the subject was 'best inventions and scientific advancements of the year'. People called in with their ideas about the latest energy efficent cars, stem cell research, and mass communication wonders. These were the dark days before iphones and ubiquitous flatscreens.
In the midst of this rather mundane conversation An elderly lady called in and said that in her opinion, the best invention of 2002 was a certain advancement in the treatment of diabetes. by a certain scientist whom she named.
The host, wishing to give her a chance to expand on her opinion, asked if she herself were diabetic.
No, she responded, I am his mother.
What? mother of a diabetic?
No, the scientist's Mother.
yes. The scientist's Mother had called Ira Glass on NPR and promoted her son as having the best scientific invention of 2002.
After a perceptible shock, the host continued on.
That was the funniest thing I have ever heard on Public Radio.
If you can imagine, it was even better in person.
In the midst of this rather mundane conversation An elderly lady called in and said that in her opinion, the best invention of 2002 was a certain advancement in the treatment of diabetes. by a certain scientist whom she named.
The host, wishing to give her a chance to expand on her opinion, asked if she herself were diabetic.
No, she responded, I am his mother.
What? mother of a diabetic?
No, the scientist's Mother.
yes. The scientist's Mother had called Ira Glass on NPR and promoted her son as having the best scientific invention of 2002.
After a perceptible shock, the host continued on.
That was the funniest thing I have ever heard on Public Radio.
If you can imagine, it was even better in person.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Little things won't save the planet....
As sad as it is, recycling and buying new appliances aren't going to save the planet.
Eliminating carbon emissions right now may work, it probably would still be too late for the icecaps and with them the polar bears and penguins. But this week in Copenhagen the President is meeting with the heads of state of countries all over the world. We are all affected by the warming of our planet, the wanton destruction of habitat, mass pollution of the oceans, etc. The leaders most able to combat this destruction are the ones least affected by its effects. The residents wealthy first world nations can afford to export our garbage, even fund mass evacuations in the event of hurricanes and flooding.
We can ignore the evidence of global warming, even allow a large contingent of our population , nearly 50% deny that global warming exists or poses a significant problem. Our government reflects this lack of concern. Our World is dying and we have our heads in the sand. It is a huge problem. It is overwhelming to ponder this, as its effects will be seen in 100 years when our world does not change, and the sacrifices required have very real effects in the current economy and society.
As this all plays out, I hope that President Obama works hard to gain approval for a steep reduction in carbon emissions, drastic steps towards cleaning up our earth. It is probably impossible to do very much in such a setting. As I mentioned in a previous post, Drastic measures are needed and will not happen.
Though I know my efforts are small and ineffectual on a large scale I believe that in addition to my own effects my example can be circumspect so that I may inspire others to live in a better way. Here are my efforts to live in an environmentally responsibly way;
1. Living situation-- We are living in a 1400 sq ft house, and we will not upgrade to anything larger ever. We are committed to living efficently, in town where we can walk to school, bike to work, and drive short distances when needed.
2. St vincent DePaul---My favorite environmental activity, I try and get everything used. It is cheaper for us, great for the SVDP Charity, and apparently good for the planet
3. Reusable shopping bags-- I abhor plastic bags. Yuck.
4. Vegetarian --I don't eat meat, The rest of us are omnivores, but I like to think that we are a bit more conscientious of our carbon footprints, and definately are below average in meat consumption.
5. Garden . We have a garden. Our yard, which is the typical .25 acre, is slowly transforming into a productive edible smorgasborg of gardeny bliss. Last year we added raspberries. This spring we will hopefully add some fruit trees and grow some melons.
6. Clothesline In the summer I use the clothes line to dry our laundry. We use the dryer for underwear and when it rains. I love to say that out 'energy star dryer' consists of some string and clothes pins.
7. Voting I take every oppertunity to vote for representatives who support the long term health of our planet and the people who live here.
Here are the things I am doing which are not great for the environment;
1. House. I live in a single family home. Our apartments were much more efficent and environmental.
2. Large Family I have 4 children and I may have more. The environmental movement is at its heart about population. I am a good mother, so I believe that will counteract their environmental impact. I also believe that the purpose of the earth is for people to live here responsibly and happily. Does this mean that I should have 5 kids? I am not sure. I am conflicted about this, but I do know that I am a good mother. Perhaps a better solution for the future would be foster children.
3. Disposable diapers. The carbon footprint is about the same as cloth diapers, but they do contain plastic which I abhor. Sorry environment. I will just plant some more trees to offset this.
It is easy to tell other people what they should do, much mroe difficult to lead by example. I am sure that I have a lot more that I can do to lessen my negative impact. Interestingly, poverty tends to make everyone more green. Living in an efficent apartment versus a large home; Driving a small car with great gas mileage versus owning several;
Perhaps the economic downturn will effect some of the environmental change that we will not initiate ourselves.
Eliminating carbon emissions right now may work, it probably would still be too late for the icecaps and with them the polar bears and penguins. But this week in Copenhagen the President is meeting with the heads of state of countries all over the world. We are all affected by the warming of our planet, the wanton destruction of habitat, mass pollution of the oceans, etc. The leaders most able to combat this destruction are the ones least affected by its effects. The residents wealthy first world nations can afford to export our garbage, even fund mass evacuations in the event of hurricanes and flooding.
We can ignore the evidence of global warming, even allow a large contingent of our population , nearly 50% deny that global warming exists or poses a significant problem. Our government reflects this lack of concern. Our World is dying and we have our heads in the sand. It is a huge problem. It is overwhelming to ponder this, as its effects will be seen in 100 years when our world does not change, and the sacrifices required have very real effects in the current economy and society.
As this all plays out, I hope that President Obama works hard to gain approval for a steep reduction in carbon emissions, drastic steps towards cleaning up our earth. It is probably impossible to do very much in such a setting. As I mentioned in a previous post, Drastic measures are needed and will not happen.
Though I know my efforts are small and ineffectual on a large scale I believe that in addition to my own effects my example can be circumspect so that I may inspire others to live in a better way. Here are my efforts to live in an environmentally responsibly way;
1. Living situation-- We are living in a 1400 sq ft house, and we will not upgrade to anything larger ever. We are committed to living efficently, in town where we can walk to school, bike to work, and drive short distances when needed.
2. St vincent DePaul---My favorite environmental activity, I try and get everything used. It is cheaper for us, great for the SVDP Charity, and apparently good for the planet
3. Reusable shopping bags-- I abhor plastic bags. Yuck.
4. Vegetarian --I don't eat meat, The rest of us are omnivores, but I like to think that we are a bit more conscientious of our carbon footprints, and definately are below average in meat consumption.
5. Garden . We have a garden. Our yard, which is the typical .25 acre, is slowly transforming into a productive edible smorgasborg of gardeny bliss. Last year we added raspberries. This spring we will hopefully add some fruit trees and grow some melons.
6. Clothesline In the summer I use the clothes line to dry our laundry. We use the dryer for underwear and when it rains. I love to say that out 'energy star dryer' consists of some string and clothes pins.
7. Voting I take every oppertunity to vote for representatives who support the long term health of our planet and the people who live here.
Here are the things I am doing which are not great for the environment;
1. House. I live in a single family home. Our apartments were much more efficent and environmental.
2. Large Family I have 4 children and I may have more. The environmental movement is at its heart about population. I am a good mother, so I believe that will counteract their environmental impact. I also believe that the purpose of the earth is for people to live here responsibly and happily. Does this mean that I should have 5 kids? I am not sure. I am conflicted about this, but I do know that I am a good mother. Perhaps a better solution for the future would be foster children.
3. Disposable diapers. The carbon footprint is about the same as cloth diapers, but they do contain plastic which I abhor. Sorry environment. I will just plant some more trees to offset this.
It is easy to tell other people what they should do, much mroe difficult to lead by example. I am sure that I have a lot more that I can do to lessen my negative impact. Interestingly, poverty tends to make everyone more green. Living in an efficent apartment versus a large home; Driving a small car with great gas mileage versus owning several;
Perhaps the economic downturn will effect some of the environmental change that we will not initiate ourselves.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
We need a little communism...
When we we know that capitalism has failed?
Perhaps when we produce more than is good for us. Our consumption demands that we clear cut rainforests. We have filled the oceans with our plastic refuse. Our carbon emissions are heating up the planet and have set in motion climate change that may eventually mean the end of hundreds of species. All this is not the neccessary byproduct of modern progress. It is very possible to reduce our carbon emissions drasticly, we can halt encroachment on the remaining wilderness and restore much of what has been lost on the past.
Environmentalism is expensive, and our capitalistic system rewards the production and marketing of things. I doesn't pay to save the planet. As things go now, I don't think the planet will be saved. Polar bears may already be unsaveable. Some scientists believe that the polar icecaps will be melted in the next 50 years, even if all carbon emissions were stopped today. sure, the scientists may be wrong. In the 1980's some scientist at Nasa predicted that when carbon levels in the air reached 350ppm, that the earth would no longer be able to support life. We are curently at 386, so hey, What do scientists know?
Eventually we are going to destroy ourselves. Drastic change, which is what is needed, will not come about under our current system.
Communism is the only way to fix this mess. We need to think about the good of the community before the good of ourselves. The government needs to undermine our personal freedom to kill ourselves and put an immediate moratorium on plastics, new cars, McMansion homes, soda pop, and other stuff that is really fun for us now, but won't be so great in 50 years when we are drowning in our own waste.
Perhaps accountablity is another option. Every community could be required to retain and dispose of its own trash in its vicinity. Another idea is to measure and tax carbon emissions.
I really think communism is the way to do this. We need some expert scientists at the head of government. A bunch of PHDs, who are not paid very well. They will argue back and forth, but eventually will come up with guidelines for environmental recovery. This process will be painful and everyone will complain. There will be revolts from Conservative Christians who will not believe in global warming. Las Vegas, St George, and other Desert cities will be abandonned becasue of their environmental instability. Most people will live in mid sized apartments, largely abandonning the urban sprawl. About 75% of our cars will be abandonned, melted down for their metals.
This will be difficult, but not impossible. Humanity may survive. I really can't think of another way to do this. What will not work is the Status Quo.
Perhaps when we produce more than is good for us. Our consumption demands that we clear cut rainforests. We have filled the oceans with our plastic refuse. Our carbon emissions are heating up the planet and have set in motion climate change that may eventually mean the end of hundreds of species. All this is not the neccessary byproduct of modern progress. It is very possible to reduce our carbon emissions drasticly, we can halt encroachment on the remaining wilderness and restore much of what has been lost on the past.
Environmentalism is expensive, and our capitalistic system rewards the production and marketing of things. I doesn't pay to save the planet. As things go now, I don't think the planet will be saved. Polar bears may already be unsaveable. Some scientists believe that the polar icecaps will be melted in the next 50 years, even if all carbon emissions were stopped today. sure, the scientists may be wrong. In the 1980's some scientist at Nasa predicted that when carbon levels in the air reached 350ppm, that the earth would no longer be able to support life. We are curently at 386, so hey, What do scientists know?
Eventually we are going to destroy ourselves. Drastic change, which is what is needed, will not come about under our current system.
Communism is the only way to fix this mess. We need to think about the good of the community before the good of ourselves. The government needs to undermine our personal freedom to kill ourselves and put an immediate moratorium on plastics, new cars, McMansion homes, soda pop, and other stuff that is really fun for us now, but won't be so great in 50 years when we are drowning in our own waste.
Perhaps accountablity is another option. Every community could be required to retain and dispose of its own trash in its vicinity. Another idea is to measure and tax carbon emissions.
I really think communism is the way to do this. We need some expert scientists at the head of government. A bunch of PHDs, who are not paid very well. They will argue back and forth, but eventually will come up with guidelines for environmental recovery. This process will be painful and everyone will complain. There will be revolts from Conservative Christians who will not believe in global warming. Las Vegas, St George, and other Desert cities will be abandonned becasue of their environmental instability. Most people will live in mid sized apartments, largely abandonning the urban sprawl. About 75% of our cars will be abandonned, melted down for their metals.
This will be difficult, but not impossible. Humanity may survive. I really can't think of another way to do this. What will not work is the Status Quo.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
A good day to run.
I just completed a 20/20
that is, I ran 20 miles on friday, then I ran 20 miles on Saturday. I am pretty sore, but the realy hurdle to this fete was psychological. I haven't gone over 20 in a single run since September. Hopefully I will do 20+ almost every weekend from now on.
I am almost back into untrarunning mode.
just got to triple by 2o mile long run. Not nearly so hard to do as it is to think about.
Bring it on MAD CITY 1ooK. I can take it.
that is, I ran 20 miles on friday, then I ran 20 miles on Saturday. I am pretty sore, but the realy hurdle to this fete was psychological. I haven't gone over 20 in a single run since September. Hopefully I will do 20+ almost every weekend from now on.
I am almost back into untrarunning mode.
just got to triple by 2o mile long run. Not nearly so hard to do as it is to think about.
Bring it on MAD CITY 1ooK. I can take it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Mill on the Floss
Yesterday in the Grocery store, the boring music playing over the loudspeaker suddenly changed to DANCING QUEEN by Abba. My 6 yr old little girl immediately started to dance around and sing along. Ofcourse she doesn't really know most of the words, but why should that stop her?
If only I could embrace my life with such fervor and abandon every day. What stops me from such great fun and enjoyment of every minute??
What would Maggie Tulliver do in such a situaiton?
I just finished The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot a.k.a. Maryann Evans
There is a lot about life in this book. At first glance I assumed that the sudden young death of Maggie and her brother was just an easy way for the author to resolve a very difficult impasse- Maggie is in the middle of a love and duty and commitment triangle. As I think about it more- and there is a lot to think about because it is a great book- I believe the entire plot to be a carefully crafted allegory of love, justice, and the grace of God.
Maggie represents love, or mercy. Her great shortcoming is that she is impulsive. She spends a great deal of the book improving herself by avoiding pleasures because she "loves them too much" all of this self denial is an effort to be a better person. Her friends, especially Phillip, encourage her to stop denying herself of all pleasure, telling her that it is not good. She promises to love Phillip, though he is really just a friend because she does not want to ever disapoint him. Later Steven decides he loves her more than Lucy to whomm he is practicly engaged. MAggies refuses him to avaoid hurting Lucy. Maggies does not seek her own interest, always determining to endure and put away her own happiness. When life in her home town becomes unbearable because of the gossip about her, she is encouraged to leave and work somewhere else. Maggie stays in town because she doesn't want to avoid hardship, or run away. She purposely chooses the more difficult life. In the end She is drowned along with her brother. All of their efforts to be good and restore family honor are for naught.
This sentiment is further illustrated in Tom's life. He is sent to school, and a great deal of money is spent on his education to make him a 'Man of consequence' The education turns out to be a sham, he is taught latin and painting. After his father fails in business Tom works hard at attends more school so he can learn business, eventually buying back the family mill and home. This accomplishment is much heralded by his aunts and uncles. Tom has a strong sense of justice. He takes it upon himself to punish his sister and corrent her for what he sees as her short comings, expecially her failed elopement with Steven. At last, during the great flood the mill and house are all destroyed, and Maggie shows great bravery in coming to rescue Tom. here Tom senses his own wrong and learns that Maggie is a good person. The destruction of the Mill is symbolic of the ruin of Tom's ideas about justice.
The great flood can be seen as the grace of God. The struggles of Maggie and Tom were inconsequential compared with the great saving power of God. He would destroy or save despite all or none of their own efforts. In another sense, Justice (Tom) and Love(Maggie) are not to be lived in an extreme way. Our lives on earth are complicated, and we can not live always choosing the right way to be without failure, nor should we try. No person can be right and good always like Tom, nor can we constantly sacrifice our own good for the benefit of others (Maggie). To be good people and live a good life we must sometimes hurt those around us, maybe even cheat our fellowman as Bob Jackum does. No one can save themselves on their own merit.
That is an interesting message. No one gets out unscathed.
This book had great writing.
I especially love the Mothers' aunts who are so gossipy and judgemental, especially when the family lost all of their household items, sold at auction and the aunts and uncles discuss what to buy, and then they keep the stuff and give it back to Tom years later as presents when he gets the Mill back! What awful people! but there are real people like that, always blaming the poor for being poor. Their religion is described as 'inherited' and "if their bibles, if they opend to one place more than another was as likely to be from the pressing of tulip petals as from use".
I love that the father chose his wife because she was simple and stupid. I love the Aunt Moss and how the Father treats her well because he believed this would lead to Tom treating Maggie well. I like that her 'great shame' was having an 8 children and being poor. She really was the nicest person in the book.
My favorite scene was where Phillip confronts his father about his friendship with Maggie and asks him to put aside his family quarrel. Phillip, in that scene was definately the more manly of the two lovers. Phillip loved Maggie as a friend as well as a lover. He considered her feelings and her wellbeing before his own.
Steven's love was true. But he did not consider so well the consequences of his actions. His love of her was his primary motivation. When she left him he thought of the grief that he would endure, not really about Maggie. He was not a bad person, but innocently self centered. Not a sufficent match for the self effacing Maggie.
This was a great book. I like the idea that we should all be happy as we are and not worry too much about getting through this life perfectly. Our failings are mortal and we can only do our best.
The love scenes rival Jane Austen.
If only I could embrace my life with such fervor and abandon every day. What stops me from such great fun and enjoyment of every minute??
What would Maggie Tulliver do in such a situaiton?
I just finished The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot a.k.a. Maryann Evans
There is a lot about life in this book. At first glance I assumed that the sudden young death of Maggie and her brother was just an easy way for the author to resolve a very difficult impasse- Maggie is in the middle of a love and duty and commitment triangle. As I think about it more- and there is a lot to think about because it is a great book- I believe the entire plot to be a carefully crafted allegory of love, justice, and the grace of God.
Maggie represents love, or mercy. Her great shortcoming is that she is impulsive. She spends a great deal of the book improving herself by avoiding pleasures because she "loves them too much" all of this self denial is an effort to be a better person. Her friends, especially Phillip, encourage her to stop denying herself of all pleasure, telling her that it is not good. She promises to love Phillip, though he is really just a friend because she does not want to ever disapoint him. Later Steven decides he loves her more than Lucy to whomm he is practicly engaged. MAggies refuses him to avaoid hurting Lucy. Maggies does not seek her own interest, always determining to endure and put away her own happiness. When life in her home town becomes unbearable because of the gossip about her, she is encouraged to leave and work somewhere else. Maggie stays in town because she doesn't want to avoid hardship, or run away. She purposely chooses the more difficult life. In the end She is drowned along with her brother. All of their efforts to be good and restore family honor are for naught.
This sentiment is further illustrated in Tom's life. He is sent to school, and a great deal of money is spent on his education to make him a 'Man of consequence' The education turns out to be a sham, he is taught latin and painting. After his father fails in business Tom works hard at attends more school so he can learn business, eventually buying back the family mill and home. This accomplishment is much heralded by his aunts and uncles. Tom has a strong sense of justice. He takes it upon himself to punish his sister and corrent her for what he sees as her short comings, expecially her failed elopement with Steven. At last, during the great flood the mill and house are all destroyed, and Maggie shows great bravery in coming to rescue Tom. here Tom senses his own wrong and learns that Maggie is a good person. The destruction of the Mill is symbolic of the ruin of Tom's ideas about justice.
The great flood can be seen as the grace of God. The struggles of Maggie and Tom were inconsequential compared with the great saving power of God. He would destroy or save despite all or none of their own efforts. In another sense, Justice (Tom) and Love(Maggie) are not to be lived in an extreme way. Our lives on earth are complicated, and we can not live always choosing the right way to be without failure, nor should we try. No person can be right and good always like Tom, nor can we constantly sacrifice our own good for the benefit of others (Maggie). To be good people and live a good life we must sometimes hurt those around us, maybe even cheat our fellowman as Bob Jackum does. No one can save themselves on their own merit.
That is an interesting message. No one gets out unscathed.
This book had great writing.
I especially love the Mothers' aunts who are so gossipy and judgemental, especially when the family lost all of their household items, sold at auction and the aunts and uncles discuss what to buy, and then they keep the stuff and give it back to Tom years later as presents when he gets the Mill back! What awful people! but there are real people like that, always blaming the poor for being poor. Their religion is described as 'inherited' and "if their bibles, if they opend to one place more than another was as likely to be from the pressing of tulip petals as from use".
I love that the father chose his wife because she was simple and stupid. I love the Aunt Moss and how the Father treats her well because he believed this would lead to Tom treating Maggie well. I like that her 'great shame' was having an 8 children and being poor. She really was the nicest person in the book.
My favorite scene was where Phillip confronts his father about his friendship with Maggie and asks him to put aside his family quarrel. Phillip, in that scene was definately the more manly of the two lovers. Phillip loved Maggie as a friend as well as a lover. He considered her feelings and her wellbeing before his own.
Steven's love was true. But he did not consider so well the consequences of his actions. His love of her was his primary motivation. When she left him he thought of the grief that he would endure, not really about Maggie. He was not a bad person, but innocently self centered. Not a sufficent match for the self effacing Maggie.
This was a great book. I like the idea that we should all be happy as we are and not worry too much about getting through this life perfectly. Our failings are mortal and we can only do our best.
The love scenes rival Jane Austen.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Why did I think that was a good idea?
So I dressed up as Victoria the EVIL Vampire and went to see the 'New Moon' Movie. It was super funt o get dressed up. I haven't really worn makeup in a long time, certainly not "full makeup" I did eyeliner. I poked my eyes with a soft pencil, to outline my eyes. I never understood why eyeliner is used, who started it out, and why so many of my sisters think it is so important. YUCK! eyeliner is the devil. I also found all of my eyeshadow and caked it on my eyelids. Vicoria the evil Vampire is sort of cheap looking. That, and about 5 years behind on her sense of style. She likes to dress a bit young for herself.
She has long red hair which is curly and not really brushed.
In short, she looks like me. I love her look.
I did not dress up this halloween becasue I was super busy. I had a costume planned (statue of liberty OR madison 'liberal'-complete with a "libertarians for singlepayer" button) but it never came together. I deeply regretted this oppertunity to plat dress up. So at the opening night of NEW MOON I saw another chance. I could dressup again, and I could do it well. I already own too-tight jeans and a Tshirt with the neck band cut out. I did my skanky makeup and even put some red gel hair dye in my hair. Finally I did not have to worry about making my hair look normal. I let it curly in all its crazy frizzy curly hairness. I like my hair.
Most people think that my hair looks the way it does from a lack of time. or perhaps it is a result of my frequent showering (which is the usual result of my frequent workouts) However I love my hair. I think that lots of long curly hair gives me personality. I want it to grow out and be a lto longer. I hope that I never cut my hair.
Anyways, a furry wrap completed the outfit. I actually looked a bit like the vampire. It was great. Then I got to the Movie theatre. I am just not confident yet. I got embarrassed. Fortunaely I haven't worn makeup or jeans or hair dye for a long time. I was pretty much not recognizeable.
Never the less I slinked away after the movie and was very relieved to get in my car and drive home. Dress up is super fun, however perhaps It can wait until halloween next year.
Given all that, thursday I saw this lady at the library, she had on a furry vest (like grizzly fur-did she hunt/harvest herself?) also, a colorful scarf on her head, and a red tie. I hope she was dressed up for childrens' story time, however I suspect this was her real outfit that day.
I really am not mocking her. I am jealous that she has such self possession. Perhaps I can someday be so self assured that I can wear any crazy outfit in public without fear.
When that day comes you will know it because I will be at the library wearing a furry grizzly fur vest, a bright red tie, and and an awesome scarf. Stare, point, etc. I won't care.
Given this, can you all now understand why I encourage Maddie in her dressing up? It is a sign that she loves herself and is happy with her body.
Perhaps I will make her that polar bear suit she wanted for christmas.
She has long red hair which is curly and not really brushed.
In short, she looks like me. I love her look.
I did not dress up this halloween becasue I was super busy. I had a costume planned (statue of liberty OR madison 'liberal'-complete with a "libertarians for singlepayer" button) but it never came together. I deeply regretted this oppertunity to plat dress up. So at the opening night of NEW MOON I saw another chance. I could dressup again, and I could do it well. I already own too-tight jeans and a Tshirt with the neck band cut out. I did my skanky makeup and even put some red gel hair dye in my hair. Finally I did not have to worry about making my hair look normal. I let it curly in all its crazy frizzy curly hairness. I like my hair.
Most people think that my hair looks the way it does from a lack of time. or perhaps it is a result of my frequent showering (which is the usual result of my frequent workouts) However I love my hair. I think that lots of long curly hair gives me personality. I want it to grow out and be a lto longer. I hope that I never cut my hair.
Anyways, a furry wrap completed the outfit. I actually looked a bit like the vampire. It was great. Then I got to the Movie theatre. I am just not confident yet. I got embarrassed. Fortunaely I haven't worn makeup or jeans or hair dye for a long time. I was pretty much not recognizeable.
Never the less I slinked away after the movie and was very relieved to get in my car and drive home. Dress up is super fun, however perhaps It can wait until halloween next year.
Given all that, thursday I saw this lady at the library, she had on a furry vest (like grizzly fur-did she hunt/harvest herself?) also, a colorful scarf on her head, and a red tie. I hope she was dressed up for childrens' story time, however I suspect this was her real outfit that day.
I really am not mocking her. I am jealous that she has such self possession. Perhaps I can someday be so self assured that I can wear any crazy outfit in public without fear.
When that day comes you will know it because I will be at the library wearing a furry grizzly fur vest, a bright red tie, and and an awesome scarf. Stare, point, etc. I won't care.
Given this, can you all now understand why I encourage Maddie in her dressing up? It is a sign that she loves herself and is happy with her body.
Perhaps I will make her that polar bear suit she wanted for christmas.
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